


Voice Tapes

by Narvaighah



Category: Apex Legends (Video Games)
Genre: Bloodhound Headcanons (Apex Legends), Bloodhound is called Bloth throughout this heads up, Caustic is mentioned once, Depressed Elliot, Diary/Journal, I guess???, I'm just reflecting my experiences on both of these babies, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, It turns into waterworks oof, Lifeline is there for like two sentences, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-18
Updated: 2019-12-18
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:13:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21844981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Narvaighah/pseuds/Narvaighah
Summary: Bloodhound just wanted to sleep after an Apex game but found a recorder, turns out to be their boyfriend's audio journal.
Relationships: Bloodhound & Mirage | Elliott Witt
Comments: 3
Kudos: 51





	Voice Tapes

Bloodhound had a few tries with the flat's door lock before they could get it open, hastily walking through the doorway. As soon as the door was closed again, they started taking off the old dirt coated hunter gear. Bloth took a deep breath after removing the mask, satisfied that it was off. It was useful for concealing their face, but damn did it get hot in their gear around Lava City. All that was left on them now we're their undergarments as they made their way to their bedroom.

Usually, they would spend a few more hours watching the usual shows with Elliot, but he had gone out for drinks with Lifeline to celebrate another win. They felt tired after this particular match and insisted to go home, much to the trickster's begging. Outside of the games, the both of them would spend as much time as possible together, somehow being able to keep their relationship from the paparazzi's attention. They enjoyed the time spent with Elliot, which was a first. Bloth assumed he would live alone for the rest of their life, carrying out the plans of the Allfather. Maybe he was someone the gods have sent, to show that even people like them need someone to fight with.

Bloth ruffled their crimson locks while their thoughts drifted off, the hair being matted from their mask. By the time they started to regret not going with their beloved, they had flopped down onto the bed, exhausted. 

If it weren't for the box like shape jabbing their abdomen, they would drift off in a matter of seconds.

Wait, why _was_ there a box on the bed?

Bloth raised themselves up, despite their body groaning in protest. Looking down where they felt the mound, they saw it wasn't just a box, it was a recorder. Strange.

They picked it up to see if there was a title or anything written on the recorder, half expecting it to be one of Caustic's lab reports gone missing. Instead he saw _Journal, of sorts_ scrawled with a marker in Elliot's handwriting. They had never seen, or heard, Elliot use something like this, which Puzzled them. _I would have heard even the slightest muttering. Maybe he recorded this while I was out of the flat._

Reluctantly, Bloth pressed the playback button.

_"So uhh, th-this is a uh journal of sorts? B-but more of me talking to... no one, really. Just a little box, heh. Agh, where was I? Oh yeah, big bad man Caustic suggested this, though he probably said it sarcastically… still, good idea soo, let's try it. Apex Games have been fun so far, yeah, but man do I really miss home. Not that- that there's much to, come home to… it's just Mom at this point, brothers are all missing."_ A sigh was heard after a long pause. _"But yeah, the Games are going great, everyone loves me. Well… Mirage. I don't know what- what they'd think of the actual me. Probably that I'm pathetic but-"_ It barely registered through, but the sound of the front door opening was audible in the background. _"Ah, guess that's my queue. Uh, how do I stop th-"_

A sound signaled that the first recording had ended. 

Bloodhound's drowsiness was long replaced by a curiosity to hear more of the audio journal. They played the second one.

_"I…"_ an uncomfortable silence was followed by the first word. _"God, I don't even know how to say these things. Basically Ajay sug- sugge- she told me that I should get therapy. But I'm fine! I'm fine, really!"_ Another long pause. _"...Who are you kidding, Elliot. I just- I can't even tell myself what I'm feeling, let alone a phsy- someone who's trained to talk to me. E-Even if I try and write it down, I always… get lost. None of this makes sense."_

The same sound signaled again. Bloth was now concerned after the second entry. _Why has he never told me these things?_ As much as they wanted to ask him, it would make it worse they presumed. A sigh shook their core as they played the next entry.

Then the next.

Then the next.

Until it played one that broke them.

_"...It feels suffocating. I-It's like something is holding me down, like I'm drowning. Everyone looks to me for… Joy? Comic relief? I'm... not sure what exactly, but they see Mirage, they love him. It hurts to pretend, to pretend like nothing is wrong in my head, like I'm not depressed. Hell, sometimes I- sometimes I even hurt myself while Houndy isn't around. They'd probably freak out, s'why I hid this and the blade in the bottom drawer."_ Bloth could hear his breathing hitch in the recording. _"God, I thought th-this would help. Just feels worse."_

By the time the sound queued again, they were on their knees, rummaging through the bottom drawer of the dresser near the bed. Bloth had always assumed Elliot hid a toy, and that's why he would get nervous when they were near it. But if this was true, it would be much worse.

Just like the pre-recorded Elliot said, there was something hidden underneath all his clothes in the bottom drawer. A razor pack, one of them being coated with dried blood, a vacant place next to it meant to store the recorder Bloth had found. 

_Why did I not suspect anything before? He was always hiding something, I should have looked sooner!_

Before they could stop it, tears started to form in their eyes. 

_I thought I was doing good, I thought HE was doing good._

"Hey, Houndy! Had to drop out early, you wouldn't believe what happened at… the bar…" Bloth didn't even hear Elliot come in, too distracted from rummaging through the drawer. 

Elliot's demeanor quickly changed as he pieced together the scene happening. They were sitting in front of the ransacked drawer with the pack of razors in hand, tears streaming down the face of the hunter he's come to know and love. A new emotion was glazed over their hazel eyes, the eyes that refused to meet his own. They were instead looking at his wrists.

"B-babe?" 

_"Why?"_ Bloth choked out.

"I-I'm sorry, it just-- just gets too hard sometimes and-" Elliot had to steady himself before he also became a sobbing mess. He felt the guilt of this situation knotting up in his stomach, threatening to bring the booze back up. "I'm so sor-"

Before he could finish that sentence, he was caught in a hug from Bloth. They were holding on like if they let go now, they would lose him. Elliot reluctantly returned the hug, now not caring about his facade as he cried into his lover's shoulder. They stayed like that for a while, sitting on the floor in each other's arms, before Bloth broke the silence.

"Do not ever apologize, dearest. If anything, it was my fault for not seeing beforehand."

"No, nono, don't- don't say that babe. You're not- I was too stubborn to say anything. This is my fault, all of it, I-I should have gotten help or something, anything." Elliot subconsciously started rubbing at his wrists. "...anything but this."

"Just… promising me one thing, Eli?"

Elliot looked up.

"Do not try anything worse than this. Can you promise me that?"

The silent hesitation that followed after the question shattered Bloth's heart, if finding the razor didn't already do enough to them. Not expecting a reply, they pulled Elliot back into a hug as he muttered apologies in their chest. 

Only after a while of this did they realize that Ajay had accompanied Elliot and watched the whole exchange unfold. The field medic could only give a sympathetic look and nod, before excusing herself back to her flat.

"I'm so tired. Can we go to bed?" The silence had been so long, the hunter was startled when Elliot first spoke.

"Of course."

Both of them had gotten up from the spot they previously resided in, Bloth still holding Elliot close to them. They both laid down, being sure to move the recorder this time. Not long after, the two were intertwined, dozing off and hopefully putting this out of their heads for now. Of course, they would have to talk to him about it tomorrow, that is inevitable. But for now…

For now, they held onto him, hoping to keep him together.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you like this one, I feel like i'm slightly getting better at writing?? Idk


End file.
